, , , , ,

If you have read much of this blog, you will know how much I enjoy going out shopping, but unfortunately it always means paying with cash which is a bit of a hassle. The alternative is handing over a credit card which clearly states “Mr Bob Roberts”. Now I like to think that I pass as a woman at least some of the time, and well enough for people not to be sure most of the time, but handing over a credit card with Mr Bob printed on it is a dead giveaway if ever there was one. And yes, I know that in most shops and supermarkets these days you don’t hand over your card at all, and put it into the chip-and-pin machine yourself, but even then I wonder if Bob’s name is appearing on the sales assistant’s screen, so I continue to use cash just to be on the safe side. Or at least I did…

I applied for a new credit card last week. As Bob, obviously, Kirsty doesn’t appear on the electoral register, has no credit history, and legally doesn’t exist. But then when I had completed all Bob’s details, I clicked on “Request additional card”! At this point I’m sure you’re way ahead of me – I input “Ms Kirsty Roberts” of the same address and by sheer coincidence the same date of birth as Mr Bob Roberts. Obviously his twin sister👼. My logic was that the application made it very clear that the lending and repayment was the sole responsibility of Mr Bob, but they did reserve the right to carry out credit checks on Ms Kirsty. Oh well, I thought, if it’s declined it’s declined, but given the lending was all to Bob, I hoped they would just be checking for no negative info on Kirsty. Which obviously there isn’t. There’s nothing. I nervously clicked on “Apply”. The egg timer appeared and after a short while the decision came up – “Approved”! So now I have two new cards on one credit card account. Bob’s card is unlikely to ever be used, but all Kirsty-specific expenditure will go through it Kirsty’s very own credit card.

It was only after I applied for the card that I realised the flaw in my plan. Items of post for Kirsty but addressed to Bob I can deal with, but what happens when post begins to arrive addressed to Kirsty? To make matters worse, daughter no1 started at grammar school last week (yes, thanks, I’m proud as punch) which means that she is now coming home by herself and is in the house for an hour before the rest of us get home. So she is the person to check the post. And of course on her first day, the PIN numbers for the cards arrived. Thankfully they arrived with about 3 or 4 other envelopes, and she seems to have just picked them all up together and left them on the table for her parents when we arrived home. So panic over for a while. She can’t be all that observant really. I had been on a wee bit of an eBay spending spree and during her first two afternoons home alone, she took in parcels for me containing a pair of ankle boots (which I adore), two pairs of shoes and a clutch bag, all addressed to Bob.

What was worrying me more was what would happen when the card itself arrived. Surely I couldn’t be so lucky twice that the name on the envelope would go unnoticed, so during my lunch hour from work on Monday I drove home, checked the doormat (empty) and drove back to work, a 45-minute round trip. Same again on Tuesday and the cards had arrived. In the same envelope. Addressed to Bob. So Bob’s card is in Bob’s wallet, and Kirsty’s card now sits happily in Kirsty’s purse inside Kirsty’s handbag.

I actually got to use it last night. I had to nip into Boots as I was nearly out of foundation, and I picked up a new lip gloss while I was there too. I went up to the make up counter and asked if I should pay there or go to the main tills. The woman at the No7 counter was very friendly and we had a nice chat about the weather, banal I know, but still very welcome. I can really feel my confidence increasing in speaking to other people as Kirsty. My female voice still needs a lot of work, but I’d rather just do my best than stay silent. But I digress. She asked me to put my card in the machine, which I duly did, tapped in the number, and all was well. “Thanks love”, she said, “you take care now”. Well that was very nice, I thought, but look at my card! It says MS KIRSTY!!! Well it still felt good not to have the worry that Mr Bob’s name would be seen, and my Kirsty card will come into its own in restaurants or hotels where you still do usually hand over your card.

Other than that, I had a pleasant enough evening last night. I also had to nip into Tesco, and then even though I was still missing my chum Andrea and our Wednesday evening sit-in coffee, I did go into Costa for a take away coffee to bring along to the Butterfly Club with me. There wasn’t a huge turnout in the club yesterday, with just Winnie (who left pretty soon after I arrived), Linda (who is threatening to come to the club dressed for the first time since I have been a member – hurrah!) and Michelle, who still seemed to be on cloud 9 after the previous Saturday’s restaurant trip. For the last hour or so it was just Michelle and me, and as usual the conversation was excellent and it was a struggle to force myself to go home after 11pm.

One more thing, I do have something happening in about a month and a half which will give me lots of opportunities to use that card, and more importantly spend my longest continuous Bob-free time yet. No more details at this stage, but I am sooo excited!

Yours mysteriously

Kirsty x